Monday Morning Blues Medication

So this picture up there - that was my MOnday Morning Blues Medication. I woke up with the blues. Not wanting to function, not wanting to get dressed (because of my weight issues and how frustrating it is for me getting ready for work every morning) and my hair issues - all of that, well, I have another blog all about that stuff. Anyhow - I just had the blues. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Kisses always help. I got my morning kiss from the honey. The boys took off to a back cracker appointment and I got ready and beelined out of there fast. I just wanted to be at the lake so I could sulk in my own Monday morning pity pot. It felt hormonal. Like when you are pregnant and just for absolutely no reason at all in the world you just cry. That was me this morning. Just an emotional crybaby for no reason except my own issues. I know everyone has them. You just don't want anything to do with anyone and everything either upsets you or pisses you off. Not even a bloody mary would help this morning. Ok well it wouldn't hurt either folks, I ain't lyin.

So I head down Wright street as I get into Marquette thinking to myself - of ALL of the mornings I go to the lake, why do I never just turn on Wright street. Why do I waste the time going all the way to the roundabout and driving up and down Lakeshore when I can zip right over to the park from Wright street. Dumb. So down I go, excited to get to the lake. As I reach near the last lights on Wright, I can see the lake. And I smile. And I put my foot on the pedal. Off to the park I zoom. I pulled in, usually I have the park to myself that early but others had the same idea. I was thinking the road thru the park was closed, I would have loved to sit at Black Rocks but there is a very good chance (like 100%) that I would have been late for work. So I pulled in and opened the windows, got my breathe of fresh lake air. I got out and sat at a picnic table by the lake. There was a little plaque on it, in memory of someone with dates and a little sentence - He found joy in this place. The very first thing that went thru my head is that I would do something like that for Tony, because he loves the lake so much, I would make sure his name was there with it always. I saw there and stared at the lake and the sun. The picture was my view from the table. I really just wanted to stay there. I could have took a nap, whatever, just chilled. I felt suddenly like a 5 year old. NO! I DON'T WANNA GO TO WORK!! I WANT TO STAY AT THE LAKE!!! Silly, I know. But that is what was going thru me.

I watched the John J Boland take on a load of ore. It was so quiet out at the park this morning, except for the chute of ore sliding into the freighter. It's a great sound. That and the water splashing up on the rocks. I was thinking I have not been rock picking in a while. Maybe it is time again.

I have decided I need a Hammock. It will stay in my car and I will take it to the lake and I will bring a book (which will most likely never get read) because I will fall asleep. I must have one and go napping at the lake. On my bucket list. After I pay bills and get my hair done...sigh...

So Monday at work. Yes, I will be back at the lake today. Either walking or sitting out on Black Rocks. I need some lake time today. I really want to jump off Black Rocks. I either want to do it all alone when no one is there, or I want to do it with someone. Anyone really. I am a chicken.

Have a great Monday everyone and if you are having a shitty one, head down to big ol blue. She puts a smile on your face and an easyness in your heart. I wish I could see her from where I sit in my office. :-)


~Missing big blue...